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The Funny Thing Is... by Ellen DeGeneres
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The Funny Thing Is... Quotes Showing 1-16 of sixteen

"You know, it's hard piece of work to write a volume. I can't tell yous how many times I really get going on an idea, so my quill breaks. Or I spill ink all over my writing tunic."
― Ellen DeGeneres, The Funny Thing Is...

"Life is brusk. If you dubiety me, enquire a butterfly. Their average life span is a mere five to fourteen days."
― Ellen DeGeneres, The Funny Thing Is...

"Showtime thinking positively. Yous volition notice a deviation. Instead of 'I recollect I'thousand a loser,' try 'I definitely am a loser.' Stop being wishy-washy about things! How much more of a loser can you exist if you don't even know you are i? Either yous are a loser or you are not. Which is information technology, stupid?"
― Ellen DeGeneres, The Funny Matter Is...

"You know, it's hard work to write a book. I can't tell yous how many times I really get going on an thought, then my quill breaks. Or I spill ink all over my writing tunic. No wonder I drink so much! And then I get so drunk, I tin barely feed the baby.

That's what I phone call myself when I'1000 boozer, "The Baby."
― Ellen DeGeneres, The Funny Affair Is...

"When I look dorsum on the stuff I used to wear, I wonder why somebody didn't attempt to cease me. Just a friendly warning, "You may regret this," would take been fine."
― Ellen DeGeneres, The Funny Thing Is...

"...To exist honest, I'd be the final person who should exist doling out gardeinng advice. I don't have the patience for growing things. Yeah, I realize there'southward nada quite as satisfying equally eating nutrient that you lot've pulled up from the footing and that'due south why, at the elevation of the planting flavour, I bury cans of lycopersicon esculentum soup in my backyard and dig them up in late bound."
― Ellen DeGeneres, The Funny Thing Is...

"Do you feel insecure because you keep getting the nagging feeling that y'all're non that smart? Well, I've got good news for you, my friend. You have no demand to be insecure. That nagging feeling is absolutely correct on target. You are not that smart. But I have more expert news for you lot. You are too non alone."
― Ellen DeGeneres, The Funny Thing Is...

"There are all sorts of books offering advice on how to deal with life-threatening situations, just where'southward the advice on dealing with embarrassing ones?"
― Ellen DeGeneres, The Funny Thing Is...

"Gratitude is looking on the brighter side of life, even if it ways hurting your optics."
― Ellen DeGeneres, The Funny Matter Is...

"Start thinking positively. You volition notice a departure. Instead of "I think I'grand a loser," try "I definitely am a loser." Stop beingness wishy-washy about things! How much more than of a loser tin can you be if you don't even know you are 1? Either you are a loser or you are non. Which is it, stupid?"
― Ellen DeGeneres, The Funny Thing Is...

"Enjoy your life. God gave us our bodies as a gift. (Granted, to some of the states it'southward kind of a gag gift, only that's okay too.) Vesture what yous want, love who yous want, and have fun."
― Ellen DeGeneres, The Funny Thing Is...

"...there are a lot of cocky-righteous people out there. And if you effort to adjust your life to please them...you're just going to go crazy and risk being as unhappy equally these self-righteous kooks are."
― Ellen DeGeneres, The Funny Thing Is...

"I guess what I'm trying to say is, there are a lot of self righteous people out at that place. And if you lot try to adjust your life to please them - by the way yous dress, your sexuality, or the ass faces you like to make - y'all are merely going to go crazy and risk being every bit unhappy every bit these self righteous kooks are.
And so enjoy your life. God gave us our bodies as a gift.(Granted, to some of the states it'due south kind of a gag gift, but that's okay too.) Wear what you want, dearest who you lot desire, and take fun."
― Ellen DeGeneres, The Funny Thing Is...

"What doesn't kill you makes you lot stronger.'

I've revised this saying to get in more accurate:

'What doesn't kill you puts you in a whole lot of hurting and makes y'all cry a lot and want to clamber in a hole forever and live with rodents."
― Ellen DeGeneres, The Funny Affair Is...

"When you make up one's mind to go along a diet, it'due south never because you feel great and desire to reward yourself past reducing your nutrient intake and exercising more than."
― Ellen DeGeneres, The Funny Thing Is...

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